Last week I was speaking with a long time business colleague and the subject turned to beliefs and specifically, limiting beliefs. Both us concluded that much of our adult life has been spent unlearning beliefs that no longer serve us. Crazy, huh?
I first learned about “limiting beliefs” from Gail Straub and David Gerson in their fabulous workshops & books entitled Empowerment. (I know, an overused term but this was the 80’s folks and they were way ahead of the curve!)
In short, a limiting belief is exactly what it sounds like– it limits you. Like any belief, it can be rooted out but that’s not enough. They must be dumped. My favorite way to dump them (discussed at length in Lesson 18, of my book, Lessons From a Headhunter… With Heart! ) is to turn them around them around until they work for me with a belief that expands me.
So in the spirit of helping others learn my past tortured self, here’s a limiting belief I struggled with forever:
I’m not good enough
I call this particular limiting belief: my inner mean girl. It’s a doozy, isn’t it? It knows no bounds. Until we dump it, it often manifests itself in the relationships we choose; how well we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually; how we groom ourselves and how we operate in the world. I’ve learned it’s really about deserving. Here’s what my inner mean girl looked like for me:
- I dated unavailable men in all shapes and sizes for years and years;
- I beat myself to a pulp running miles and miles that ruined my feet and ankles;;
- I didn’t advocate for myself with doctors when I knew there was something wrong with my thyroid;
- I didn’t think I deserved to own a house until I got married.
Excuse me, but what the what? Rest assured these beliefs were not ones my parents wanted for me. Both my parents were huge advocates for women. Frankly, I no longer spend time analyzing where I learned how to be mean to myself. I spend all my energy working the Turn-Around and the Expanding Belief.
Want to hear my Turn-Around? My Expanding Belief? Let me know in the comments below and I’ll share it. And how about you? What does your inner mean girl sound like and how can I help you dump it?
Patty Comeford Adams
Ps. Two terrific resources on examining your limiting beliefs are: (1)Renee Stephens’ fabulous free podcast @ docrenee.com; and (2) Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life.
Happy weekend peeps! I hope this finds you enjoying your weekend and psyched once again to look 10 pounds lighter instantly! This is one of those tips that will work for anyone regardless of your weight. And fellow short girls, you’re going to love this tip!
Tip#3: Find That Hidden Wedge.
The Hidden Wedge? What am I talking about? Well, last year I was looking at pair of Uggs for our annual holiday trip to Jackson Hole and kept thinking how dumpy I looked in them. Then I happened upon a pair online that had a hidden wedge (and a zipper ~ha!) and thought why not?
I’m not exaggerating when my women friends kept saying “Have you lost weight?” That comment was usually followed by “Your legs look so long; what have you been doing to workout?” Even my “Pilates Possy” kept asking me what I was doing and where they could get them! I wore them so much that I literally wore them out. Hence, no picture and unfortunately, Uggs no longer makes them. 😦
Not to be deterred, I’ve combed the web and curated 3 different pairs of hidden wedges for you that can be on your doorstep next week. Each are spectacular in their own right (and they don’t cost as much).
1. Nine West Tall Boot:
http://amzn.to/1FzEEMr I love that you can get them in any color and even suede. The zipper in the back not only makes for easy on & off but also really gives it an expensive look.
2. Enzo Tall Boot :
http://amzn.to/1Kdz08f These are simple and chic. Always a recipe for great personal style! You can wear them with anything.
3. ANNA Ankle Bootie:
http://amzn.to/1K0dsdY We all know that ankle booties are everywhere this season and this might be my favorite of the season.They are faux leather and have a rubber sole so no stains or slipping. And that clasp! I swear it makes it look like they are made by Givenchy or Celine! I’m thinking of ordering these in black and brown as I know they will go fast!
I’d love to hear your thoughts below and see you in a picture of hidden wedges looking ever so tall and lean.
And always remember ~ You’re Never Stuck!
Patty Comeford Adams
Welcome back peeps and Happy Labor Day weekend!
Our last post was such a resounding success that we continue our series, “Ways to Look Ten Pounds Lighter Today: Tip #2. And thank you for all your private message and comments!
I don’t know about you but I’m sick, tired and confused about all these “experts” telling me what to eat and not eat and promising magic results DF/C/D/.overnight. Coffee’s good for you ; coffee’s bad for you; now it’s good again! Whaaaateverrrrr. That said, there are several things you can do without spending a dime to look instantly slimmer.
Tip #2: Ditch the “Mom Capri” .
Right now, go in your closet and donate them all. They are not coming back nor should they~ ever! They not only make our legs look short, our ankles big, accentuate us in all the wrong places but they date us. See what I mean?
Please don’t be offended. I used to wear them too. But clearly the same misguided man who put only 2 stalls in a woman’s bathroom invented them. Remember “Mom Jeans”? Well, I’m declaring war on the “Mom Capris”. These lovely women deserve better; we all do!
One caveat: I’m not taking about getting rid of the ankle pant, a tailored crop pant, pencil pant or your cute yoga pants. And yes, gauchos are “in” but that’s a whole different story for another day. Just rid yourself of the Mom Capri asap. You’ve got all of Labor Day weekend to do it!
And always remember~You’re Never Stuck!
Patty Comeford Adams
ps. And if you don’t know what to replace them with, have a picture of you tossing your Mom Capris, have ideas for others on what to replace them with or a question please comment below or shoot me an email.