Category Archives: Inspirational Themed Blogs

How To Dump Your Inner Mean Girl

Last week I was speaking with a long time business colleague and the subject turned to beliefs and specifically, limiting beliefs. Both us concluded that much of our adult life has been spent unlearning beliefs that no longer serve us. Crazy, huh?

 I first learned about “limiting beliefs” from Gail Straub and David Gerson in their fabulous workshops & books entitled Empowerment. (I know, an overused term but this was the 80’s folks and they were way ahead of the curve!)

In short, a limiting belief is exactly what it sounds like– it limits you. Like any belief, it can be rooted out but that’s not enough. They must be dumped.  My favorite way to dump them (discussed at length in Lesson 18, of my book, Lessons From a Headhunter… With Heart! ) is to turn them around them around until they work for me with a belief that expands me. 

So in the spirit of helping others learn my past tortured self, here’s a limiting belief I struggled with forever:

 I’m not good enough

I call this particular limiting belief: my inner mean girl. It’s a doozy, isn’t it?  It knows no bounds. Until we dump it, it often manifests itself in the relationships we choose; how well we take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually; how we groom ourselves and how we operate in the world. I’ve learned it’s really about deserving.  Here’s what my inner mean girl looked like for me:

  • I dated unavailable men in all shapes and sizes for years and years;
  •  I beat myself to a pulp running miles and miles that ruined my feet and ankles;;
  •  I didn’t advocate for myself with doctors when I knew there was something wrong with my thyroid;
  •  I didn’t think I deserved to own a house until I got married.

Excuse me, but what the what? Rest assured these beliefs were not ones my parents wanted for me. Both my parents were huge advocates for women. Frankly, I no longer spend time analyzing where I learned how to be mean to myself. I spend all my energy working the Turn-Around and the Expanding Belief.

Want to hear my Turn-Around? My Expanding Belief?  Let me know in the comments below and I’ll share it. And how about you? What does your inner mean girl sound like and how can I help you dump it?

With Love,

Patty Comeford Adams

Ps.  Two terrific resources on examining your limiting beliefs are:  (1)Renee Stephens’ fabulous free podcast @ docrenee.com; and (2)  Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life.

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Filed under Career Coach, Inspirational Themed Blogs, Self Help

Ways to Look 10 Pounds Lighter Today: Tip #3

Happy weekend  peeps! I hope this finds you enjoying your weekend and psyched once again to look 10 pounds lighter instantly! This is one of those tips that will work for anyone regardless of your weight. And fellow short girls, you’re going to love this tip!

Tip#3: Find That Hidden Wedge.

The Hidden Wedge? What am I talking about? Well, last year I was looking at pair of Uggs for our annual holiday trip to Jackson Hole and kept thinking how dumpy I looked in them. Then I happened upon a pair online that had a hidden wedge (and a zipper ~ha!) and thought why not?

I’m not exaggerating when my women friends kept saying “Have you lost weight?” That comment was usually followed by “Your legs look so long; what have you been doing to workout?” Even my “Pilates Possy” kept asking me what I was doing and where they could get them! I wore them so much that I literally wore them out. Hence, no picture and unfortunately, Uggs no longer makes them. 😦

Not to be deterred,  I’ve combed the web and  curated 3 different pairs of hidden wedges for you that can be on your doorstep next week. Each are spectacular in their own right (and they don’t cost as much).

1. Nine West Tall Boot: 

  
http://amzn.to/1FzEEMr  I love that you can get them in any color and even suede. The zipper in the back not only makes for easy on & off but also really gives it an expensive look.

2. Enzo Tall Boot : 

  
http://amzn.to/1Kdz08f  These are simple and chic. Always a recipe for great personal style! You can wear them with anything.

3. ANNA Ankle Bootie:

  
http://amzn.to/1K0dsdY  We all know that ankle booties are everywhere this season and this might be my favorite of the season.They are faux leather and have a rubber sole so no stains or slipping.  And that clasp! I swear it  makes it look like they are made by  Givenchy or Celine! I’m thinking of ordering these in black and brown as I know they will go fast!

I’d love to hear your thoughts below  and see you in a picture of  hidden wedges looking ever so tall and lean.

And always remember ~ You’re Never Stuck!

xoxo,

Patty Comeford Adams

Patty Adams

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Filed under boots, Clothes, Fashion, Fitness, Inspirational Themed Blogs, Self Help, shoes, thin, wedges, weight

Ways To Look Ten Pounds Lighter Today: Tip #2OL

Welcome back peeps and Happy Labor Day weekend!

Our last post was such a resounding success that we continue our series, “Ways to Look Ten Pounds Lighter Today: Tip #2. And thank you for all your private message and comments!

I don’t know about you but I’m sick, tired and confused about all these “experts” telling me what to eat and not eat and promising magic results DF/C/D/.overnight. Coffee’s good for you ; coffee’s bad for you; now it’s good again! Whaaaateverrrrr. That said, there are several things you can do without spending a dime to look instantly slimmer.

Tip #2: Ditch the “Mom Capri” .

Right now, go in your closet and donate them all. They are not coming back nor should they~ ever! They not only make our legs look short, our ankles big, accentuate us in all the wrong places but they date us. See what I mean?

capri-2

Please don’t be offended. I used to wear them too. But clearly the same misguided man who put only  2 stalls in a woman’s bathroom invented them. Remember “Mom Jeans”? Well, I’m declaring war on the “Mom Capris”. These lovely women deserve better; we all do!

One caveat: I’m not taking about getting rid of the ankle pant, a tailored crop pant, pencil pant or your cute yoga pants. And yes, gauchos are “in” but that’s a whole different story for another day. Just rid yourself of the Mom Capri asap. You’ve got all of Labor Day weekend to do it!

And always remember~You’re Never Stuck!

xoxo,

Patty Comeford Adams

ps. And if you don’t know what to replace them with, have a picture of you tossing your Mom Capris, have ideas for others on what to replace them with or a question please comment below or shoot me an email.

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Filed under Clothes, Fashion, Inspirational Themed Blogs, Self Help, women

Welcome to the YOURENEVERSTUCK Blog


You’re Never Stuck. …Really.

I know it sure feels like we are stuck sometimes. In fact, here I am with a company called “You’re Never Stuck, Inc.” and I spent the last few years feeling very, very stuck. Geeeeezzzzz, talk about the irony!  But here’s the thing, being stuck is all in our minds.  It’s not real.  I just thought I was stuck.  But guess what.  I wasn’t stuck and neither are you.  It was/ is just a feeling ~ and you have the power to change that.

But wait!!!   Where is all this coming from and who the heck am I ???

My Story:

Yeah,  I’m the author of  Lessons From a Headhunter….with Heart and someone who sold her company to a public company against all odds.  A “recovered lawyer”.  And yes, I’m a business, branding and career strategist.  But the journey there …and the journey we are all on now is much more revealing.

You see, I was one of those unhappy young women lawyers sporting a bow-tie  (yikes–total fashion don’t) working in a fancy law firm making more money at age 29 than she had ever dreamed of.  And I was one of three women in the entire 35 person law firm and,  frankly in 1989, they didn’t really know what to do with us. So the joke was that most of the women lawyer’s time “courtroom experience” was spent in Conciliation Court versus Federal Court.  Hmmmmm.  Anyway, despite working through college and law school, I had tons of school loans.  Law school is very expensive.  And I had lots of other debt because  I just “had” to buy the fancy car.  Had to have the “nice”  apartment.  The nice clothes.

But I was miserable.  Really miserable.  The kind of miserable where I had to talk myself into going into work each and every day.  Definitely depression — but nobody talked about openly in 1989.  So….. I quit my job…. to start a business.  Now  don’t go quitting your job because I did.  I want to make it perfectly clear that I did a lot of work before I quit.  I had a market study done to advise on whether it was a viable idea.  I wrote a detailed business plan. Made a budget.  Created some tremendous mentor relationships with other entrepreneurs, etc.  And then, I quit.

My family thought I had lost it. I had senior partners in the law firm tell me I would fail and others tell me behind closed doors that they felt trapped and wish they had the guts to leave.  A guy I was seeing who was a lawyer didn’t want to date me anymore because he was so freaked out.  My friends thought it was surreal (and probably really stupid).  Everybody told me I would fail.

Because I wasn’t thinking, I started the business with $500.00 (not smart) and no investors (subject for another blog).  I had many, many years where I didn’t know if I would make it.  And I read everything I could get my hands on about the Law of Attraction & Louise Hay, etc., etc., etc.,  (way pre-“Secret” folks! ).  I worked the principles hard.  Affirmations, Vision Boards, Manifestations, etc., etc.   And I worked hard the old fashioned way.

It worked.  Big time.  In 2007, just like I had manifested, I received a call from  a public company wanting a Minneapolis presence. I told them I had just written a book, wasn’t ready to sell and would think about it only if they didn’t require me to stay and work for them.  “Everybody “said it wouldn’t work–that I would have to do an “earn out” for 3 to 5 years.  But guess what.  I sold on my birthday in 2007, and walked away 3 days later.

I’m  not telling you this to brag. I am telling you this because if a 29 year old midwesterner with a political science major who still struggles with spreadsheets can pull off her dreams, you can too!  I’m no genius.  I made a ridiculous amount of mistakes along the way.  I hired and promoted many wrong people.  I learned and then hired and promoted many right people. (But not perfectly).  And  I believed.  I worked hard.  Really hard.  But most importantly, I  believed in myself unconditionally and as they say in the law of attraction, planted seeds and kept nurturing them along.  It worked for me and it can work for you.  Really, Really, Really work for you.

This Blog’s About …

So this blog is all about lessons learned along the way and lessons I, my clients, friends, mentors continue to learn at deeper and deeper levels.  Besides talking about branding, interview tips, starting a business, selling a business, etc., etc., etc ., there is going to be a whole lot of talk about the “stuff” all around those issues.  Fear. Money Beliefs. Grief. Relationships. Spirituality. Excuses. Co-dependency. Manifestation. Faith. Laughter.  And why?  Because one very interesting things I was privileged to learn as a search consultant is that everybody is afraid.  Everybody feels alone.  The Ceo, the CFO, the General Counsel.  Pick your title….everybody is in the same boat.  Especially now.

So let’s begin this journey together by stopping the self-shame. We’re human.  We all get scared.  We all make mistakes.  Fear seems to be everywhere.  Everybody is asking “How am I gonna  find a job in this economy?”  “Support my family?”  They feel stuck.  They are scared.  Really scared.

So the big thing I’ve been telling my clients who feel stuck  to begin by taking a”baby step”.  Think of it as a “shift” or “tweak” if that helps frame it or if  taking a step feels to scary.  And that baby step is:  take your power backSome of the ways you can do this effortlessly include:

1. Take control of your environment.  Take control of that remote (change the channel or turn it off if need be).

If reading the paper or watching the news bums you out as it does me, stop reading the articles on how bad it is out there and read/listen to only the positive stuff out there. Read the hysterical funny but incredibly wise work of  Dr. Martha Beck at www.marthabeck.com.  Read Marianne Williamson www.marianne.com.  Read Danielle LaPorte’s fabulous blog, www.WhiteHotTruth.com. Check out www.workingkind.com.  Learn about powerful method of inquiry (4 questions people!) called ” The Work” by the very cool Byron Katie, author of  Loving What Is. Watch  Harvard trained brain scientist’s Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s video (www.ted.org or on www.youtube.com) of not only how it feels to have a stroke but she now uses it to create inner peace.  You will weep with joy.  I did. 

2.  A big shout here to Molly Hershey, Tom Keller, Linda Elwell, Patty Hamm, Amy Driscoll for helping me through some dark days ~ your  unconditional love, wisdom and kindness astounds me. (Thank you from the bottom of my heart).

3. Stop comparing yourself to other people & lose the “should”. Or saying I’m 50 and I have to start over???  Comparing yourself just feels plain icky and it doesn’t work. Everybody I know is starting over in some aspect of their life be it their job, their relationship, their finances. Focusing on how it “should be” versus “what is” doesn’t work and only keeps you stuck. “Should’s” are all about shame.

4.  Find ways to comfort yourself — be it a hot bath or a walk. I have come to know if it is free, it comforts you more. Forget buying “stuff “to make you feel better.  It is just stuff.  It’s not real.  What is real is the truth. The truth always reveals (thank again Mol).  If you stand in your truth, you no longer are stuck and good things happen.

5. And, no matter what the other person does to you or doesn’t do, remember that YOU can end on love no matter what.  Trust me.

Sending you Big, Big  Hugs,

Patty Comeford

Author, Lessons from a Headhunter with …Heart! (available at http://www.amazon.com)

CEO, YOU’RE NEVER STUCK, INC., WWW.YOURENEVERSTUCK.COM

 

 

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Filed under Career/Job Related Blogs, Inspirational Themed Blogs, Relationship Related Blogs, Television Appearances