Tag Archives: career

How To Get Unstuck from a Job You Hate

I receive a lot of emails from folks about feeling stuck in jobs, marriage, and money situations. Of late the bulk seem to go like this: ” Help! I hate my job!! I need to get out here asap! What can I do?”  So today, we focus on getting unstuck from a job you hate.

The first thing you have to do is dial back the hate big time. I know, I know you deserve to kick and scream and vent. But I’m here to tell you after 18 years in the recruiting business, hating your job won’t help you find something better. Sorry to ruin the pity party but it’s true. Now don’t think I’m getting all “judge-y” with you. Heck, I fell into that trap myself. I hated my job as a lawyer from day two and I stayed there hating and telling everyone that I hated it for two whole years. All that hating just made me feel stuck, unable to move forward and very miserable.

We see this phenomenon in other areas of our life. Dr John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute has performed decades of research on couples’ relationships.  Gottman has found 4 kinds of negativity , which he calls “the four horsemen of the apocalypse”. The research shows that  4 horsemen literally destroy relationships. They include:

  1. Criticism;
  2. Contempt;
  3. Defensiveness; and
  4. Stonewalling.

So what does couples research have to do with job search and career fulfillment? Well, as it turns out, quite a bit.

Criticism and contempt are often present in individuals thinking about or undergoing a job search.  With criticism, it is certainly easier to focus on what’s wrong with our employer or boss. Contempt rears its ugly head in all sorts of ways including sarcasm, cynicism, put-downs.  Defensiveness and stonewalling seem to run rampant in the workplace.  God forbid we take responsibility for our situation and communicate!

pointing-finger1

So how do we get past the 4 deadly horsemen and get unstuck?

Again, we can learn from Gottman’s research. One of the first things Gottman does is to challenge couples to communicate 5 positive comments for every negative one. Try it in your relationship; it’s not so easy!.

For me, the career lesson learned was that when I stopped criticizing and hating my job, things began to shift in my work life. No, it didn’t magically change, gates didn’t fly open and birds didn’t start chirping from the heavens above, but things did shift and eventually change dramatically.

So this week when you catch yourself hating on whatever, I challenge you to try “the Gottman”and see what starts to unfold.

And as always, if you would be so kind as to share your story/struggle/advice with others below, we’d be most grateful. Heck, you might even help someone get unstuck!

With Love,
Patty Comeford Adams

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How To Sell Your Business & Walk Out The Next Day: Part 2

Having something valuable to sell does not translate to having a buyer. Why? Because to attract the attention of buyers, you must be visible—to the right people. While a good product or service makes you visible,  entrepreneurs have  to raise awareness themselves.

Here some tips:

Ask yourself—Who needs to notice your company?

Your competitors are an obvious market. They do what you do; maybe they want to buy your company and do more of it. So, go ahead and identify large industry players, but go the next step as well. Identify what companies might want to add your business as a competitive advantage to their portfolio. Case in point–the company that acquired my business had a portfolio of HR-related companies and had just begun building legal and accounting divisions.

Once you have done your research, you are ready to start networking. I’m not talking about taking the easy way out and emailing or tweeting them. I’m talking about actual face to face contact. What conferences do they attend? What contacts do you have in common? Who could introduce you?

You can obviously start with those charged with acquisitions. But don’t stop with the obvious targets or assume you have to start at that level. . The reality is that you never know where a contact—whether social or professional—will lead. I knew I was going to sell my company some day, and I wasn’t shy about sharing that bold idea with anyone who would listen!

Ask yourself—How do I make the company visible?

I’m dating myself here, but I was operating pre-social media. The acquisitions person that called was someone I had reached out to early on in business. I had read about him, sent him a handwritten note, later chatted. Don’t kid yourself. The “old ways” still work because few are doing them.  Today’s entrepreneurs have an entire new arsenal of tactics at their disposal via Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram.  Turn those imaginings into action. No excuses!

Here are a couple ideas from my playbook:

  • Give lots of free, valuable advice consistently. As I mentioned in my last post, we wrote trade and magazine articles, career tip sheets, employer tip sheets, spoke at national and local conventions, participated in roundtables, joined committees, and sat on boards. We also reached out beyond our business world and did things like sponsor concerts and speakers. And yes, all this took time. A lot of time. My personal rule: I dedicated 50 percent of my time to this kind of marketing.
  • Build trust relationships with reporters. I believe one of an entrepreneur’s duties is to speak for the company (primarily for brand consistency). It shouldn’t be delegated to a public relations firm or someone who isn’t in senior management. Thus, I reached out to local and national reporters with story ideas. Importantly, those story ideas were not about us, but were trend stories, up-and-comer stories, career success stories, and client stories. They not only helped establish the company as an expert in the field, but also helped the reporters succeed in their jobs. Reporters are always looking for ideas. Try it, you will see!
  • Hired a team to put together impeccable financial summaries. As they say, part of success is knowing what you are not good at. Consequently, I hired two people I respected to help me showcase our financials in detail. I presented the financials at my first “casual” meeting with the acquisition’s lead. I thought he was going to faint. He told me it was not uncommon for them to have to go through shoeboxes filled with data to figure out the kind of information I presented! To this day, I believe our showcasing efforts were key to establishing credibility in our negotiations.

When I was approached about selling The Esquire Group, I was not in the market to sell, but forced myself to listen to the offer. In hindsight, I realize this was not a fluke, but a consequence of doing more than selling a good service.

  • We advised others.
  • We shared our good fortune.
  • We knew who we were and who we were not.

All that made us an attractive purchase.

My commitment to advising did not end with the closing of the sale, however, so please comment below, or message me privately.

Remember…You’re Never Stuck!

With Love,

Patty Comeford Adams

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Filed under Acquistion, Business, Career Coach, Employment, Entrepreneur, Jobs, Self Help

Heh Lady–What’s your handicap?

Hello Dear Ones. Welcome back and it’s so wonderful to be back! After much prompting, my New Year’s Resolution was to reignite and significantly expand the blog  to include all things for the 50+ woman in helping you get unstuck:

Life, Career & Business, Home, Fashion, Style & Travel

( Yes, people get stuck in Travel too).

We are also excited to share that we’ve already had great interest from advertisers and sponsors and welcome any additional ideas you might have! And please feel free to message me or comment on where you get stuck, we’d love to help! So while the web designers do their thaaaaang, I thought I’d bring you up to speed on this end.  Buckle your seat belts folks, ’cause what hasn’t changed is more like it!  

Re -Charged:   Okay, so it started off as 1 year off and then morphed into 5+ years . It has been a wonderful learning experience for me to just “be” and uncover that I am not my business, not my degrees, and not the state I live in. Truth be told, while having my company acquired by a public company was an extraordinary  (and sometimes painful more on that later) life event, it happened so fast that that the ground quaked. And in perfect “Patty” fashion, I decided I would sell my house, move to a warmer climate Arizona, leave my friends and family and  well….change everything. And change it was. When I moved to Arizona, often the first question  from others was:

What’s your handicap?

 Not: What do you do for a living?

Coming from Minnesota, a highly professional community, that was well ~shocking.  And then the look—you mean you actually worrrrked???????  I’ve since learned that I am my biggest handicap at times and that questions like those are innocent enough. Nevertheless,  it was a great eye opener and reminder that yes, our job/business doesn’t define us. Neither does your handicap ,BTW!  

Re-Married: Met a  dashing fella in my neighborhood named Clarke (Clarke  with an “e;  more on how we met later) who was widowed with  6 amazingly kind and accomplished children  and  12 beautiful grandkids. We married after 2 years and like every newly blended family, we are all learning. While I would never attempt to be these children’s Mom (and no-one ever could duplicate the amazing woman that she was), my goal is to be the best role model I can be and love them all unconditionally. I have always prayed to have children and  it’s clear that the good Lord has blessed me  abundantly. And did I mention that the little ones call me Patty-Cakes???

Here we are at our surprise wedding ceremony. We changed into this get-up in  the dirtiest 4 X4 bathroom ever with the wonderful and talented stylist Scarlett Iaccino https://www.facebook.com/stephanieiaccino?fref=ts.  (Dress by http://www.ReemAcra.com)

Adams_184 Here are our 12 adorable Grandchildren: Paige, Ryan, Emily, Colin, Ben, Ellie, Tristan, Jackson, Owen, Everleigh, Gwyneth & Grace. Adams_398   Here are Clarke’s 6 beautiful children: Helen, Clarke, Sarah, Chris, David & Taylor: IMG_2560 And one more for good measure with grand-daughter Ellie (Dress by http://www.carolinaherrera.com) : Adams_383 Rescued: Thanks to The America Cavalier Rescue Foundation (https://cavalierrescuetrust.org) and his loving Foster Mom Holly, we adopted a senior doggy named Colonel Bailey. We call him #theC olonel  for short and, like any rescue owner will tell you, he has rescued his owners over and over again.  I keep asking myself why I didn’t get a dog sooner in life. ‘We registered him as  a service animal at http://www.nsarco.com/emotional-support-animal.html  and are take him everywhere with us in his little red service vest . He is quite the chic-magnet!

#Thecolonel hanging on the couch: IMG_1631 #TheColonel partaking in our wedding dinner: Adams_268 #TheColonel having a rough day walking but still on the go: IMG_2071   Re-engaged: As we all know, if you’re an adult and get sick one places on your shortlist to go for treatment is Minnesota. The same is true for children!

Thanks to my business mentor/client Kevin Roberg, I was elected to  the Board of Directors of a game changing pediatric hospital:  Children’s Hospital & Clinics of Minnesota, http://www.childrensmn.org. IMG_1902

If you’ve heard me speak before, I  often joke that after being a lawyer  and then spending 15+ years running my company that placed lawyers , I’m winning my soul back now !   In all seriousness, author Gordon Hinckley was right when he said: “The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others. …. “.  

You’ll be hearing lots more on the blog about this game changing hospital. Currently Clarke & I are supporting 2 pet projects there:

1. The world’s first Pain & Palliative Care Clinic for Children featured here: http://mspmag.com/Out-And-About/Articles/Features/Horst-Rechelbacher-s-Legacy

http://www.childrensmn.org/blog/kidshealth/2015/01/childrens-pain-and-palliative-care-clinic-opens-new-doors/

2. The burgeoning Neurosciences Clinic recently featured on the TV show, The Doctors:

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/articles/1042-young-boy-battles-brain-tumor http://www.childrensmn.org/news-and-events/newsroom/latest-news/childrens-hospitals-and-clinics-of-minnesota-unveils-new-neuroscience-unit-for-epilepsy-and-neurosurgery-patients

Many folks get scared off by the word philanthropy thinking that they have to give millions. In the age of free social media, crowdfunding and the like, there is always so much you can do to help.  Not everyone is cut out for volunteering so I encourage you to  step back and look at your professional skills, and ask what you have to offer.

Thanks for indulging me in this update. And always remember…You’re Never Stuck!

With love, Patty Comeford Adams

 

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Dream a little (No, BIG) Dream

Happy Monday and Happy Thanksgiving.
 
 
Maybe it’s because Thanksgiving is already here or that New Year is right around the corner, but folks have been asking me lots about how to help them find their “dream job” and all that.  Mainly it sounds like this: “Given the current status of our economy, how can I ever hope to get my dream job?”
 
I know it’s easy to get discouraged right now.  Negative news is everywhere but here are some quick keys to get you through it all and how not to give up on your dream:
 
1.  Turn off all negative stuff:  I did this myself this past summer and the results were immediate and amazing.  My overall attitude and feelings of well being improve immensely.  Trust me, I still watched the news but if a story was negative, I changed the channel.  And, if you feel you need to stay connected with the news watch the news when you get home but do not watch the news just prior to going to bed.  None of us need all that rolling around in our brain at night!
 
2.  Check your dream:  What I mean here is to check that your dream is realistic. Now don’t you go and decide that for yourself (it is too easy to talk yourself out of your dream, get discouraged or not go for it all). Check your dream with someone who would know and has your best intentions at heart.  Someone in that field. Or a career coach. Or a school counselor.  Or a mentor.  Or a peer.  In other words, get independent advice of someone without a hidden agenda.
 
3.  Research, Research, Research:  There’s an old saying that 99 percent of success is in the preparation.  So do your research. We live in the land of the internet and social networking like LinkedIn and Twitter. You can reach unprecedented numbers of people in many different ways.  It’s vital to educate yourself so you can create a realistic new life/career plan.
 
4.  Breathe: Yup, the best de-stressor I know.  This is new for me and it works. Everytime.
 
5.  Create your own little mini board of directors:  When I started my first company, I did this.  Mind you, we didn’t regularly meet (would have been better if we had, I never got around to that) but, I had my “go to people.”  I went to them when I got stuck on any variety of issues such as employee issues, financial issues, life-balance and marketing issues. If you are stuck on how to create one for yourself, email me at pcomeford@youreneverstuck.com and we’ll brainstorm.
 
6.  Practice Gratitude: I think gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe.  We can’t just practice this one week out of the year, it’s best as a daily practice.  For me, that practice has helped me through the good and the bad in all aspects of my life. I love the website www.thankfulfor.com.  The website features a gratitude journal where I write 3 or 4 things down.  I don’t do this every day but each and every time I do it, my whole attitude—my whole being enters a different space.  It’s magical for me.  Give gratitude a go, however you choose to do so, and observe how life changing and attitude changing it can be.
 
7.  Remember that your current success & “failures”  brought you to today:  What I mean by that is that you’re here today because of past successes.  Many successful lawyers and business professionals that I coach worry year to year that their business will dry up.  Yes, that can happen if you aren’t keeping informed in your industry and marketing yourself, but my experience overall is that we all torture ourselves with that and it’s often just anxiety . So my best advice is to gently let it go.
 
The main point of all this is.  Take your power back and take ownership of your dreams.  Maybe after doing your research, your dream needs to change, alter or get tweaked a bit.  But don’t just toss your dreams out with the leftover Thanksgiving turkey and stuffing because the economy is bad!  Dream, dream big, dream really big!  In that regard, one of the best quotes I have come across that has always kept me going is by Joan Baez… “Action is the antidote to despair.”  Now, how powerful is that? 

In Love & Gratitude,

Patricia A. Comeford

Author, Lessons from a Headhunter with …Heart!

CEO, YOU’RE NEVER STUCK, INC., WWW.YOURENEVERSTUCK.COM



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Filed under Career Coach, Career/Job Related Blogs, Job Change, Job Offer, Life, Personal Growth, Recruiter, Self Help, Spirituality, Success

Gently Down the Revenue Stream

 

Last week’s blog talked a bit about supporting yourself and your family via revenue streams versus “the traditional job model” that many of us have become so accustomed to.  Many of you are eager to learn more about multiple revenue streams and today I’ll give examples and explain how you can make that happen for yourself.

As I’ve stated before, I truly believe our careers and personal lives are intertwined.  It is really not possible to separate the two.  Here are 4 real life examples of people “thinking out of the box” and changing not only their unemployment status or loss of income status, but changing their lives as those around them as well.  Please note:  some of the names in the following examples have been changed to protect the innocent:)

1.  Annie the accountant:  Annie was laid off last January.  She searched and searched for an accountant job but, found nothing was out there.  So she approached a high end temporary consulting firm.  She now consults with two different clients at the firm; one of the clients 2 days a week, and another client 2 days a week.  On Friday’s she works directly for her former clients, friends and family.  Guess what?  Annie now is making more money than her former “JOB” paid and she has lots of flexibility.  Many multiple streams!

2. Sam the salesman:  Sam sold financial leasing programs to CFO’s and CEO’s for the last 20 years. Then, the finance market collapsed.  His industry collapsed.  His company collapsed. Like everyone, he had lots of financial obligations and suddenly no job and no income.  He proactively cut back on expenses but after a year plus of looking for a job–nothing.  So, he had to “think out of the box” and did!  Being a numbers guy who could sell to top level executives, he attained his securities and insurance licenses.  He kept forward movement with lots of studying and hard work. As I’ve stated before, “no pity party here.” Sam is not peddling stocks across the table.  He thought bigger.  He is going into corporations (ie: using his C-level sales skills) and selling them various insurance programs and 401k products.  He is also marketing financial leasing programs to those folks. He now has multiple reasons to talk to them and multiple sources of revenue. Good work Sam!

3. Molly the realtor:  Molly, as I’ve written about before, is a successful realtor, but with the prices of homes and buyers continuing drop she proactively began to shift her focus and look for new ways to earn additional income.  Molly now helps me with marketing and computer work, she walks a neighbor dog each day-and gets paid for walking – imagine that!  She also makes business calls for her fiancé to help him grow his business too, paying it forward, in addition to maintaining her real estate business.  These multiple revenue streams allow her to maintain the flexibility needed in real estate yet earn her additional income as well.

4. Larry the Lawyer: Larry has been a successful litigator for years. In his mind that is all he thought he could do. Wrong-oh!  He didn’t quit but instead approached his firm to cut a deal. He kept his clients there and others in the law firm are servicing them. He receives a cut of the work given they remain as his clients. Now, Larry has lots of experience litigating and truly enjoys settling cases.  He is now a successful mediator as well, because clients and judges trust him.  He has morphed and designed his own career and is extremely successful because he has found his passion!  He is earning more than he did as a partner, working less and loving what he is doing.  This is a great example of moving gently down the multiple revenue streams.  For, Larry did not upset the apple cart, he gently started designing his own new career path.

So I ask you…what streams can you create?  Think big. This can be a time in your life when you look back a few years from now, and if you do it right, you could see this as a monumental turning point for you, for your family.  Think about your hobbies, your passions, your skills.  How many streams can you create for yourself?  The options are endless.

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Put Excuses Behind You and Job Search Out in Front

I am hearing lots and lots from clients these days about not being able to get a job. Hmmm.  Yes, we are in a tough recession and many jobs have been lost.  Nonetheless, for many of you, you are making self destructive (and potentially family destructing) choices on not getting a job.  Sorry to be so blunt, but I call them excuses.  The excuses typically sound like this:

Excuse 1:  “Yes, I could get a job in my industry but I want to get a job in another field so I will just wait until I find one.”

You’re Never Stuck Feedback:  That’s terrific…BUT…how are you going to support yourself and your family?  Are you expecting someone else to support you?  That sounds a lot like entitlement, which breeds dependency.  Is that what you want for yourself?  Is that the example you want to set for your children?  Wouldn’t it be more empowering to instead choose to have a job in your current field but work toward your new dream job?

Excuse 2:  “There are no jobs.”

You’re Never Stuck Feedback:  I call “B.S.” on that one. Yes, there are fewer jobs out there but there are jobs. Now, you may not want a particular job or think it is below you, but again, there are jobs.  I have a lawyer client that I coach.  She decided movement is better than sitting idle, and to make ends meet she started cleaning houses. Yes, it’s below her skill set but she is doing what she has to do for her, and her family.  (BTW – I love house cleaners – they are a gift to many).  I have another client who just lost his business.  He sucked it up and went for a job with one of his competitors.  He has a family to support.  No pity party there.  And don’t forget you can support yourself via several income streams–it doesn’t have to come from one place.  We’ll expand more about that in a future blog.

Excuse 3:  “I apply online and nothing happens.”

You’re Never Stuck Feedback:  The number 1 way people get hired today is still through other people – good old fashioned networking, and to be quite honest letting others/the industry know you are looking for a job.  People hire people.  There are many ways to accomplish this:  Through your church, an extra-curricular group, hobby, or people you meet as you are out in public – tell everyone!  You also need to join Linkedin, Facebook and Twitter to expand your network.

Excuse 4: “I’m sick. I’m depressed. I give up.”

You’re Never Stuck Feedback:  Please don’t give up. Ever.  That’s choosing victim thinking. If you are depressed or sick, get help ASAP. That is the first step in taking your power back and healing. There are tons of FREE resources to get help such as 12 step programs, church support groups and your friend network.

Excuse 5:  “I don’t know how to find a job.”

You’re Never Stuck Feedback:  Unlike 10 years ago, there are tons and tons of FREE resources on everything from writing a resume to cover letters online.  Check out my website at http://www.youreneverstuck.com for the free chapters on interviewing and cover letters.  Google it!  Search for websites, articles and blogs of people talking and writing about similar topics.  Join a local support group or class to expand your network and your skills.  Know that you are not alone.  There are a lot of people willing to share what they’ve learned from the process.  I’m willing to share too, for you can find some of my favorite resources on the Lessons From a Headhunter Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lessons-From-A-Headhunterwith-Heart/300344826289.

I haven’t gone heartless on you my dear readers.  But a good coach calls a spade a spade and holds a mirror to your face and helps you move forward.  People are getting jobs.  They may have to work a lot harder to get a job or take one they never thought they would need to but this is a reality in today’s economy.  So ditch the excuses and choose empowerment and action instead.  I believe in you!  You can do it!

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Good Grief, Charlie Brown – Part Two

 

Last week’s blog post regarding friendship and grief certainly seems to have struck a cord with you, my readers.  Hence, a Good Grief Charlie Brown – Part Two seems in order.

It’s clear from the many emails received that a lot of you are experiencing intense challenges.  As we are all too well aware, these are unprecedented times.  Let me begin by saying that you may feel stuck, feel alone, feel abandoned (you pick the label), but know this:  you can overcome any unwanted feelings and overcome any obstacles once you set your mind to it.  It may be tough.  It may not be fun, but you can make it happen if you CHOOSE to do so.  But you must choose.  One of the very ironic things I have learned along the way is we are better able to CHOOSE when we show up for others.  “Being there” emotionally and spiritually for someone unconditionally opens up many blessings.  And those blessings are not just for the person you are helping, they bless you too! 

Let me share a bit how this has worked for me in my business life and personal life.  When I was writing my book, people would joke with me and say, “A headhunter writing about spiritual purposes?  Are you kidding?”  I guess it is rather odd in a sense.   However, one of the very big mistakes people make in their careers and job search is compartmentalizing their work life.  Your work life is not separate from your personal life even if Western society wants to tell us that.  In fact, many of my clients came to me while I was a headhunter and come to me now as a career coach with their heads hanging low, dejected after being laid off or quitting jobs that were sucking the life blood out of them.  In defining what they really want out of their new career, and with their own hard work, we are able to uncover what they really want from their work and their life.  In many cases this results in helping them earn more money than they ever envisioned.  By loving my work and them, I helped them find their true career passion.  In many cases, this in turn opened up doors for them to spend more time with their family, send their children to a better school or to perform volunteer work in the community with that extra time.  It pays it forward.

But the real Yin and Yang of it all, is that they helped me too.  By assisting my clients in their career searches over the years it inspired me to write Lessons from a Headhunter with Heart.  Writing a book was something I had always wanted to do.  What a gift I received from them.  See the magic?

Here’s another amazing example – more personal in nature.  This summer, after much reflection and prayer, I ended a 5 year relationship/engagement.  It was one of the more difficult things I have ever had to do.  The decision was gut wrenchingly difficult for me because I loved his kids like my own, loved his family and loved him.  From all outward appearances, everything looked like the fairytale we young women get socialized to believe in. You know the one.  The handsome charming prince enters your life, the longed for “instant family,” love conquers all, right???  Not so.  I was literally dying on the inside, unable to sleep, unable to write and in a huge values conflict.  But, through the pain of the relationship ending it has produced endless spiritual growth, learning and new doors that would have never opened otherwise. 

You see, out of the blue,  Molly H., who knew me only as an acquaintance through my ex-fiancé, reached out to me in pure, loving kindness when I needed it most.  And not to bash my ex or lament over “how there are no good men out there,” (neither of which I wanted to participate in), but to just be there for me unconditionally.  She didn’t care if I chose to agree to reconcile or not.  She just was there.  It started with talks, then several walks and before I/we knew it, a new friendship was forming and new paths of creativity and support were being opened up for us BOTH.  This was so because Molly, as with most realtors nowadays, has been affected by the slow real estate market.  (BTW, she’s a sharp, trustworthy realtor if you need a Minnesota real estate agent: www.mollymnrealtor.com).  I needed someone to help with my blog and market my book.  Guess who has another income stream?  Molly.  Guess who now has a crackerjack marketing assistant who is helping me market my book, my blog and my website www.YoureNeverStuck.com?  Patty.  Guess whose client network is now expanding?  Molly.  Guess whose life in infinitely richer, more organized and full of laughter now?  Patty. 

So kindness begot more than just “kindness,” it brought real tangible results for both of us. It gives me goose bumps.  Mind you, none of this would have happened if either one of us had said:

  • I don’t have time.
  • I’m staying out of it.
  • That’s not my problem.
  • I can’t relate to what she is going through (ie: – it’s too scary, it might happen to me)
  • I’ve got my own set of problems to worry about.

The above comments and excuses for not loving another make me wish our schools taught kindness as part of the curriculum along with math, English and Economics.  The Dalai Lama says, “Kindness is my religion.”  How perfect.  Find out more about the Dalai Lama at:  www.dalailama.com.  Kindness is pretty darn simple.  Let’s not make it complicated folks.

Here is another great example:  My writer friend Neal S. never misses a chance at helping others.  He raises more and more money for inner city youth activity programs each and every year.  He does it gracefully, tirelessly and with a true heart.  He is not in it to pad his resume, gain accolades or climb social ladders.  He just does it because he is a good citizen who wants to give back to his community.  He’s so humble that he wouldn’t like it a bit that I am writing this, but doesn’t that speak volumes about his character and the kind of person this “blessing” others creates?  After my blog last week I learned that he and his wife are helping a neighborhood kid whose mother is so strung out on cocaine that she could give a “rat’s you know what” whether her daughter makes it to school.  So guess who is driving her?  Yep, that would be Neal.

On the job/career/economy front, the latest jobs report statistics came out last week. Overall, another 95,000 jobs were lost in September, 2010 alone. Ouch!  It seems like there is no end.  But as Arianna Huffington points out in her fabulous blog, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/cando-entrepreneurs-move-_b_759184.html, “There are a whole group of entrepreneurs helping not only each other but helping others create a livelihood where no jobs exist.”  Huffington points out that, “It’s easy to get cynical.  But instead a group of “can-do” entrepreneurs are creating commerce and jobs for themselves and others.”  She goes on to astutely say, “I love how human this movement is.  It is fueled by technology, but at its core is the real person connecting to another person.”  There we go folks real people blessing others.  More magic.

So I leave you with this.  Whether you help someone in a subtle way by “just being there” for that person as my friend Molly did with me, or perhaps more overtly by actively assisting another through volunteer work or giving career/networking advice when someone needs to hear it.  I feel it’s our “job” to help others.  How will YOU show up for another unconditionally?  How about demonstrating your humanity toward one of the latest 95,000 newly unemployed friends, past co-workers, family members or members of your community who recently lost their jobs?  Even if it is just to lend an ear, please do it.  

I’d love to hear from you on this.   Please email me at patty.youreneverstuck@gmail.com and tell me your personal story of how someone blessed you during a time of need or perhaps you blessed someone in need.  I just might blog about you.

Many blessings,

Patricia A. Comeford

Author, Lessons from a Headhunter with …Heart! (available at www.amazon.com)

CEO, YOU’RE NEVER STUCK, INC., WWW.YOURENEVERSTUCK.COM

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