10 seconds to Your BEST FACE Ever (Really)

Okay peeps,

This might be my best beauty tip everrrrr. Seriously……!

I hate foundation. Always have; always will. In addition, I think women have a tendency to over apply it or misapply it.  I also think women who use it typically look—well…OLD! ( I can hear that collective shudder)

Bounce on over to BB CREME my lovelies! It’s the Bomb (But please don’t say that out loud on an airplane).

It’s fast. It’s easy. It takes 10 seconds and makes you look maaaarvelous !

I think I have tried ever BB creme on the market and be assured that not all are created equal. The absolute best is Hydra Life by Christian Dior.

IMG_2464 It has an SPF of 30 and it seriously will make your skin GLOW.  It effortlessly covers sun damage, red hues and brown spots. Just put a dime size amount on your finger tips, rub them together to warm it a bit and spread evenly. That’s it. Vous etes fini! (That’s French for you are finished).

I’ve bought it at various places  but the best place to buy is Amazon! Just click here and it’s at your door:

//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=tf_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=youreneverstu-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B007FAOHW0&asins=B007FAOHW0&linkId=UHYIVGMVM3BL5QZG&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true

See? Even your skin is never stuck!

Love,

Patty Comeford Adams

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What’s Your Rub?

We recently visited Chicago for our grand-daughter Gwyneth’s 3rd birthday.

The Birthday Girl

The Birthday Girl

Aside from being utterly delicious, she’s a wise one. She’s turned inside and found a way to calm herself when need be and connect with others. Our family calls it: The Ear Rub (#TheEarRub).  From time to time, she’ll stop and give herself a little break and rub her own ear or that of someone she loves.

#TheEarRub w/ her Pops

#TheEarRub w/ her Pops

IMG_2069

#TheEarRub with Gampers

#TheEarRub by Gwyenth

#TheEarRub by Gwyenth

 

Psychologists tell us that the stress response is a natural part of our survival instincts. The amygdala is the part of our brain that processes basic feelings; it plays a big role in sounding an alert for threatening situations. It also triggers fight or flight behaviors. This works well as long as there is a threat that you need to run away from or defend yourself against. For many of  us however,  our body  suffers from being on high alert continuously. It often shows up as high cortisol or as a continual state of anxiety.  Anxiety affects over 40 million people over the age of 18 and cost the U.S. more than $42 billion a year.  It’s estimated that 1 in 8 children suffer from anxiety and it’s climbing at an alarming rate!

Hence, the importance of engaging in self-soothing behaviors!

How do I self -soothe?   I’ve tried the breathing thing to no avail; I know it works for many but I just get  frustrated. Pilates & yoga, reading  work well for me. Prayer is my absolute favorite. But my secret self-soothe?  As the infamous May West so aptly said: When in doubt, take a BATH.

What’s your #TheEarRub? Please share below, we’d love to know!

And always remember, You’re Never Stuck.

Love,

Patty

 

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Heh Lady–What’s your handicap?

Hello Dear Ones. Welcome back and it’s so wonderful to be back! After much prompting, my New Year’s Resolution was to reignite and significantly expand the blog  to include all things for the 50+ woman in helping you get unstuck:

Life, Career & Business, Home, Fashion, Style & Travel

( Yes, people get stuck in Travel too).

We are also excited to share that we’ve already had great interest from advertisers and sponsors and welcome any additional ideas you might have! And please feel free to message me or comment on where you get stuck, we’d love to help! So while the web designers do their thaaaaang, I thought I’d bring you up to speed on this end.  Buckle your seat belts folks, ’cause what hasn’t changed is more like it!  

Re -Charged:   Okay, so it started off as 1 year off and then morphed into 5+ years . It has been a wonderful learning experience for me to just “be” and uncover that I am not my business, not my degrees, and not the state I live in. Truth be told, while having my company acquired by a public company was an extraordinary  (and sometimes painful more on that later) life event, it happened so fast that that the ground quaked. And in perfect “Patty” fashion, I decided I would sell my house, move to a warmer climate Arizona, leave my friends and family and  well….change everything. And change it was. When I moved to Arizona, often the first question  from others was:

What’s your handicap?

 Not: What do you do for a living?

Coming from Minnesota, a highly professional community, that was well ~shocking.  And then the look—you mean you actually worrrrked???????  I’ve since learned that I am my biggest handicap at times and that questions like those are innocent enough. Nevertheless,  it was a great eye opener and reminder that yes, our job/business doesn’t define us. Neither does your handicap ,BTW!  

Re-Married: Met a  dashing fella in my neighborhood named Clarke (Clarke  with an “e;  more on how we met later) who was widowed with  6 amazingly kind and accomplished children  and  12 beautiful grandkids. We married after 2 years and like every newly blended family, we are all learning. While I would never attempt to be these children’s Mom (and no-one ever could duplicate the amazing woman that she was), my goal is to be the best role model I can be and love them all unconditionally. I have always prayed to have children and  it’s clear that the good Lord has blessed me  abundantly. And did I mention that the little ones call me Patty-Cakes???

Here we are at our surprise wedding ceremony. We changed into this get-up in  the dirtiest 4 X4 bathroom ever with the wonderful and talented stylist Scarlett Iaccino https://www.facebook.com/stephanieiaccino?fref=ts.  (Dress by http://www.ReemAcra.com)

Adams_184 Here are our 12 adorable Grandchildren: Paige, Ryan, Emily, Colin, Ben, Ellie, Tristan, Jackson, Owen, Everleigh, Gwyneth & Grace. Adams_398   Here are Clarke’s 6 beautiful children: Helen, Clarke, Sarah, Chris, David & Taylor: IMG_2560 And one more for good measure with grand-daughter Ellie (Dress by http://www.carolinaherrera.com) : Adams_383 Rescued: Thanks to The America Cavalier Rescue Foundation (https://cavalierrescuetrust.org) and his loving Foster Mom Holly, we adopted a senior doggy named Colonel Bailey. We call him #theC olonel  for short and, like any rescue owner will tell you, he has rescued his owners over and over again.  I keep asking myself why I didn’t get a dog sooner in life. ‘We registered him as  a service animal at http://www.nsarco.com/emotional-support-animal.html  and are take him everywhere with us in his little red service vest . He is quite the chic-magnet!

#Thecolonel hanging on the couch: IMG_1631 #TheColonel partaking in our wedding dinner: Adams_268 #TheColonel having a rough day walking but still on the go: IMG_2071   Re-engaged: As we all know, if you’re an adult and get sick one places on your shortlist to go for treatment is Minnesota. The same is true for children!

Thanks to my business mentor/client Kevin Roberg, I was elected to  the Board of Directors of a game changing pediatric hospital:  Children’s Hospital & Clinics of Minnesota, http://www.childrensmn.org. IMG_1902

If you’ve heard me speak before, I  often joke that after being a lawyer  and then spending 15+ years running my company that placed lawyers , I’m winning my soul back now !   In all seriousness, author Gordon Hinckley was right when he said: “The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others. …. “.  

You’ll be hearing lots more on the blog about this game changing hospital. Currently Clarke & I are supporting 2 pet projects there:

1. The world’s first Pain & Palliative Care Clinic for Children featured here: http://mspmag.com/Out-And-About/Articles/Features/Horst-Rechelbacher-s-Legacy

http://www.childrensmn.org/blog/kidshealth/2015/01/childrens-pain-and-palliative-care-clinic-opens-new-doors/

2. The burgeoning Neurosciences Clinic recently featured on the TV show, The Doctors:

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/articles/1042-young-boy-battles-brain-tumor http://www.childrensmn.org/news-and-events/newsroom/latest-news/childrens-hospitals-and-clinics-of-minnesota-unveils-new-neuroscience-unit-for-epilepsy-and-neurosurgery-patients

Many folks get scared off by the word philanthropy thinking that they have to give millions. In the age of free social media, crowdfunding and the like, there is always so much you can do to help.  Not everyone is cut out for volunteering so I encourage you to  step back and look at your professional skills, and ask what you have to offer.

Thanks for indulging me in this update. And always remember…You’re Never Stuck!

With love, Patty Comeford Adams

 

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Pass the Compassion…Please!

I don’t know about you but of late I’ve been struck by just how little compassion there seems to be out of there. This lack of compassion comes in all shapes and sizes, knows no economic boundaries and sounds quite a bit like the following:

  1. Just move on, would you!;
  2. Whew, I’m of the hook!;
  3. That’s Not My Problem!;
  4. Heh, That’s the Past, Get Over it!;
  5. I’m just at a different place in my life. (I think the last one is perhaps the worst of all as it feigns sincerity and kindness.)

The etymology of the word compassion comes from the Latin stem meaning to “suffer with, feel pity”.  Webster’s dictionary  defines compassion as:”a feeling of being sorry for others”.

I find these definitions so inadequate.   To me, compassion is so much more powerful than that. It is life affirming. It has the power to change another’s life completely. Rather than born of pity or sorrow, I believe it is built out of divine respect and love. It connects us all. And amazingly,  it’s absolutely free. It costs nothing to give it.
 Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of the need for tough love from time to time. But too often it seems that folks these days choose tough love as their initial reaction rather than compassion. And too often it seems that tough love is really just judgment … in disguise. Can’t we as human beings do better than that? I think so.
The Dalai Lama recognized the life affirming power of compassion  when he said: ” If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion”.
So perhaps the next time you are tempted to respond with tough love/judgment, you can lead the way toward making the world just a little better place and make yourself happier at the same time by  passing the  compassion. Please.
And always remember, You’re Never Stuck.
All the best,

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What employers really want…

Having been in the search business for many years, I’m often asked what employers really want. While the demand for certain skills often change, there are a number of key personal attributes which never go out of demand. Today we focus on five:

1. Good Common Sense:  Yes, you read that correctly: good common sense. I can’t tell you the number of times a client has specified that a job candidate “have a good head on his/her shoulders”. Sounds like something your parents or grandparents would say, doesn’t it? Well, they were spot on. I haven’t met an employer yet who wasn’t looking for it and that’s not going to change anytime soon.

2. Ability to play well with others:   Organizations are doing lots more with way less. This is where the ability to play well with others comes in.   Employers tell us that they simply don’t have the time nor inclination to iron out conflicts, turf wars or just deal with plain old immaturity. So even if you can’t stand that co-worker of yours one more minute, do your best to ignore it, rise above it and demonstrate your ability to work well with individuals at all levels in the organization.

3. Strong social skills:  This may seem strange at first but given we are in a service economy, the ability to build relationships and market is a key skill.  Lawyers, doctors, bankers…they are all expected to market to and develop prospective clients. Employers are even  evaluating new grads on social skills.   So while once upon time it was all about grades and class rank,  employers today  view proven social skills as a prerequisite to long term success.

4. The ability to “Manage Up”: Roseanne Badoski, former executive assistant to Jack Welch,  coined this phrase in her book aptly named Managing Up.   It’s a brilliant concept.  In essence, she believes that to truly succeed , you need to go above and beyond the tasks assigned to you so that you can enhance your manager’s work. In other words, it is your job to anticipate your manager’s needs and make him/her shine, not the other way around.  It’ s  your job to present possible solutions and not just problems to your boss.  By Managing Up, you not only make your employer look good  but also become indispensible. Not bad, eh?

5. Dependability:  In this economy, I am always shocked to hear that employers struggle with this issue. Webster’s dictionary defines “to depend “as placing reliance or trust in another. Employers often describe it a little more bluntly:  “Doing what you say you will do”. In other words, if you accepted a job, your employer is depending on you to show up on time. If your employer assigned a project to you, that means you will get it done in a timely fashion. If your employer….well, you get the idea.

So, let’s say you have some or even each and every one of these traits.  How do you convey them to a prospective employer without sounding obnoxious? One very effective way is to have your references convey this on your behalf. Typically references struggle with what to say anyway; so a little coaching on the above goes a long way. Another way is to convey them in a behavioral interview setting or bring them up yourself as some of the  strengths you possess. Last but not least, you can work them into your cover letter instead of  typical boiler plate language.

Remember…You’re Never Stuck ,

Patricia A. Comeford

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Filed under Attorneys, Author, career, Career Coach, Career/Job Related Blogs, Change, Cover Letter, Employment, Headhunter, Interviewing, Job Change, Recruiter, relationships, Success

What’s friendship got to do with it?

Greetings dear friends and my apologies for the long hiatus. Life has been a whirlwind of travel and fun (more on that at a future date)  but I am officially back.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about friendship these days; specifically what makes it tick and what makes it last. Three things come to mind.

1. Reciprocity: Yes, much like a marriage, friendships are a two way street.  We can’t expect to ask for something and not give it in return. This came to mind of late after a request from a dear friend to stay more in touch. When she asked for that, not only did I feel awful for being so absent but I resolved to do better.  So I embarked on a plan of staying more in touch even if it was just by text.  But guess what,  calls/texts/emails were sent and not  much more than a peep back. No two way street there. Ouch, Ouch, OUCH!  This not only has served as a vivid reminder of why I hadn’t been more in touch, is also a reminder that I too can do better at behaving in a reciprocal fashion.

2. Not a transaction: Many people mistake friendship for a transaction. I guess that underlying thought is  “What can I get from this person”. This “transaction” can take many forms: money, status, gifts, time and even one’s heart strings. If you have ever been on the receiving end of one of these friendships, you know how rewarding it is. (Not!) .  Friendships like that may tick for a while but they don’t last.

3. It’s Fragile:Oh the things I wish I could take back when said out of fear . (Forget anger; anger is merely a “cover” emotion for fear). Now when I am tempted to lash out in anger, I  take 3 breaths and ask myself what I am so afraid of . Try it, it’s life changing.

So what’s all this got to do with getting unstuck?  Well, C.S. Lewis once said: “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.” And it’s often our friends who help get us unstuck. And that makes the effort to be the best friend you can be, totally worth it.

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Don’t Be Victim To The Blame Game

Perhaps it’s the recent tragic shooting in Tucson, Arizona of Gabrielle Giffords and our current political climate, but I have been thinking lots about the practice of blame these days.  It seems to be everywhere and getting worse. In order to change, we don’t need to debate how we got there, we can just look at its effects, how it showed up, and if we want to allow it to affect our own lives.

So in the spirit of “doing better,” the next time you catch yourself wanting to blame someone or something for your problems, consider this:

Blaming keeps you:

1. Stuck

2. Powerless

3. In shame

4. In denial

5. In permanent grief

The better, more empowering choice is to own up to responsibility. With responsibility, you receive:

1. The opportunity to genuinely learn from your mistakes.

2. Heal any appropriate guilt.

3. Open a new dialogue.

4. Move forward with your life.

5. Freedom.

So I ask you, which will you choose?

With Love,

Patricia A. Comeford

Author, Lessons from a Headhunter with …Heart!

CEO, YOU’RE NEVER STUCK, INC., WWW.YOURENEVERSTUCK.COM

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